Over the past few years the "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" debate has raged on relentlessly. While I can think of a few dozen things that are more important than which two-word phrase someone uses to greet me during the last two months of the year, many people take the debate very seriously. One side says they want to be inclusive of all the holidays that fall between late October and early January, and the other side says that they are being excluded and repressed due to their religious affiliation.
I live in the Bible Belt, where there is only about a 14% chance I will say "Merry Christmas" to someone who does not celebrate the holiday, or at least the religious version of it.
(Because face it, Christmas has become a consumerist-driven secular holiday associated more with parties, gift-giving, and twinkly lights than with the birth of Jesus Christ which probably wasn't even in the month of December anyway, but that's an entirely different story. As far as I'm concerned, if Christians want religion put back into the holiday of Christmas, LET THEM DO IT. I loathe the month of December because of what Christmas has become. I can't even go to the store for laundry soap without being run over by some red-nosed, crazy-eyed soccer mom hell-bent on snagging the latest gadget for her already overly-sedentary kid. For the record I very briefly considered going shopping on Black Friday just to see what the fuss is all about but decided it wasn't worth it. Why go to Pamplona when I can see highlights on TV and not risk getting gored to death by a riotous bull? So yes, I would be quite happy in returning Christmas to the Christians to celebrate with the religious reverence it deserves. But I digress, utilizing what may have been the longest parenthetical aside ever written.)
The phrases "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons Greetings" are not new, politically correct terms invented for the purpose of alienating certain groups of people. I remember these phrases being used when I was a child in the groovy 70s and awesome 80s, and no one complained about it. I always assumed "Happy Holidays" to be a reference to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year all rolled into one convenient phrase. That is certainly the intention behind the phrase when I use it myself. I don't say it with any malicious or exclusionary intent whatsoever. And on the off-chance that I have an encounter with someone who is not a follower of the Christian faith, I have all my bases covered without having to guess which December holiday they choose to celebrate.
But with the rise of the Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays debate, I have my reservations about using it. No matter how sincere the words are when I say them, it is possible that the expression will be met with a displeasure that is counter-productive to the intention in which it was delivered. So what can I say that will be inclusive yet also non-offensive?
The same thing I say during the other eleven months of the year: Have a nice day. This phrase can be modified to fit the day of the week or even the time of day and it will still be a pleasantry. Paired with a smile, it can't go wrong. If someone wishes me a Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, I smile and return the sentiment. Otherwise I will stick with the standard, albeit nondescript, "Have a nice day," and then I will thank my lucky stars that I don't work in retail.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go dig my Festivus Pole out of the attic and prepare for the Airing of Grievances.
Have a nice day!
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